There are people in everyone's life who have caused us great pain. Some have physically harmed us, while others have caused us mental or emotional distress. The wounds it leaves behind might be so severe that it leaves some traumas.
There are situations when the other person's circumstances have altered. Some have expressed remorse, and you have already forgiven them. Other times, the same destructive actions are repeated, with no one accepting responsibility.
It's difficult to let go of a toxic connection, especially involving someone close to us, such as family, friends, or a romantic partner. Many individuals think that to be "spiritual," they must be able to forgive the people who hurt them, embrace them fully, and feel no ill will when they are in their presence.
In this article, we'll talk about how to love these folks from a distance while letting go of our unhealthy relationships with them.
How To Let Go of Toxic Relationships While Growing Spiritually
There is this misconception that being spiritual is always loving, even at the expense of yourself getting hurt. However, this is not true.
Being spiritual doesn't mean:
-> Showing someone who caused you trauma unconditional love
-> Being calm and submissive to the people who have caused you pain just to avoid conflict
Although forgiveness is a significant key to spirituality, it doesn't mean you need to open your arms wide, accept the person who deeply traumatized you, and have a relationship with them again.
How your body reacts to trauma has nothing to do with your spiritual development or ability to get past it. As a survival mechanism, your body's chemical reaction to the person who caused you damage is often immutable, regardless matter how much mental or spiritual work you put in. So, the first thing to let go of is the expectation that you "should" like being with them.
Further, it is not a measure of your spirituality to be able to "open your heart" to someone who has caused you great suffering. Frequently, people may intentionally place themselves in the company of deeply painful family and "friends" to forgive or show compassion because they believe they "should." However, doing what you "should" not help your spiritual growth if your heart isn't in it and your motivation for wanting to be with this other person isn't pure. More compassion cannot be prompted by more pressure.
Sometimes, the more selfless decision is entirely cutting someone or something out of your life. The best action may be simply wishing them love and watching them grow from afar. There are times when you only need to set a boundary. It all depends on you.
Letting go of a toxic relationship allows space in your heart to love yourself more, which is integral to growing spiritually. The more you love yourself and feel the joy and confidence of that love, the more you extend that love to people outside of yourself.
Bottom Line
Being spiritual is not about putting up with unpleasant experiences or enduring something toxic. Acceptance of what already is the essence of spirituality. You gain no merit as a spiritual person by pushing yourself to be in the company of someone who has injured or hurt you. Honoring yourself and the truth requires the brave decision to cut ties with someone who brings you down, even if they are family or a "friend."
If your heart is ready to forgive someone who has hurt you, it will open on its own. And if that yearning never materializes, that's just as valid a spiritual path as any other.
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